The Long-Lasting Negative Effects of Abuse

There are many forms of abuse between individuals, a common type of which is emotional abuse. It involves the control, manipulation, and intimidation of another person, leading them to feel small, discouraged, or develop a poor self-image.

Contrary to popular belief, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse, leaving behind psychological scars that often go on to poorly influence various aspects of one’s life. For this reason, it’s important to know exactly what emotional abuse looks like and how it can be overcome. ^[1]

What is Emotional Abuse?

Emotional abuse is a type of abuse that involves the use of words and actions to control, manipulate, and intimidate another person. Unlike physical abuse, there is no physical harm caused. However, it is possible for a person to experience both physical and emotional abuse from the same individual.

As we’ve already mentioned, emotional abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse. Depending on the severity of the abuse, the person can go on to struggle with mental and emotional health issues for the rest of their lives. In some cases, it can have such a long-lasting effect on a person that their personality seems to change entirely. ^[1]

Common Behaviors Associated with Emotional Abuse

• Gaslighting: This is one of the most common ways in which an emotional abuser will manipulate their victim’s emotions. The person will lie, manipulate facts, and spin a situation so that the victim feels out of line. They also often make the victim question their reality and perceptions.
• Verbal insults: The perpetrator will frequently use derogatory terms, belittling language, and criticism. This is all done in an attempt to chip away at the victim’s self-esteem.
• Isolation: Often, the abuser will prevent the victim from having close contact with their friends, family members, or other support systems. This essentially increases their dependency on the abuser, as they will have nobody else to turn to once their relationships start to fall apart. Additionally, it ensures that the victim is unable to share their experience of emotional abuse, which will, in turn, ensure that the cycle does not end.
• Threats and intimidation: The abuser will often use threats of abandonment (or other consequences that instill fear) to keep their victim compliant.
• Jealousy and possessiveness: Perpetrators often display excessive traits of jealousy and possessiveness. More so, they will accuse the victim of being unfaithful and even go as far as emotionally punishing them for these acts, even when there is no evidence to support their claim.
• Monitoring and surveillance: Emotional abusers usually feel the need to be in complete control of their victim’s life. For this reason, they will keep close tabs on them by tracking their whereabouts and constantly asking who they are with and what they are doing. Sometimes, they will even show up unannounced in order to ‘check in’ on the victim.
• Blame and shame: The victim will usually be blamed for any problems or failures in the relationship. The abuser uses shame as another tactic to manipulate their emotions and lower their self-esteem.

Overall, these actions and methods of abuse create an incredibly toxic relationship. Even though the victim may feel reliant on or attached to the person, this is a result of the unhealthy habits instigated by the abuser. Over time, the victim’s independence, self-esteem, and relationships will begin to decline, leading to a cycle of emotional abuse that centers around the perpetrator. ^[2]

Long-Term Effects of Emotional Abuse

As you can expect, there is a wide range of side effects, including long- and short-term, that materialize as a result of emotional abuse. These can have a devastating impact on a person’s life, influencing their thoughts, beliefs, actions, and relationships. ^[3]

Some of these long-term effects include:

• Low self-esteem: Over time, the victim will start to question their self-worth. To be more specific, they will experience persistent feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt.
• Anxiety and depression: The chronic stress of being in a toxic relationship, as well as their lack of independence and low self-esteem, can lead to the development of depression, anxiety, and other distressing emotions. If this occurs for long enough, they may turn into diagnosable conditions. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is also relatively common among emotional abuse victims.
• Trust and commitment issues: If a victim manages to escape an emotionally abusive relationship, they often have trouble trusting others, which creates a massive challenge in forming and maintaining new relationships.
• Self-isolation: As a result of their trust issues, victims frequently withdraw from social interactions – all in an attempt to avoid potential abuse.

Emotional Abuse as a Child

If a person experiences emotional abuse as a child, teenager, or young adult, the effects are likely to persist into adulthood. Emotional abuse presents itself in various forms and severities, meaning that it frequently isn’t even recognized. However, the side effects usually are.

It is also important to note that emotional abuse can come from anybody, including a partner, friend, or family member. Emotional abuse from a parent is particularly problematic, as the victim is usually unable to identify the signs of abuse or, if they are, they feel as though there is nothing that can be done about it. ^[4]

How Can Abuse Affect Relationships?

It should come as no surprise that emotional abuse can have a profound and long-lasting impact on any relationship. Even if a person is able to identify emotional abuse from experience, their ability to trust and commit to new relationships can be hampered for the rest of their lives. ^[5]

A few of the key ways in which relationships are affected include:

• Trust issues: This is the standout culprit, and emotional abuse often leads to a lack of trust from the victim. The abuser will use manipulation and deceit to emotionally harm the victim, even though the latter believes that they have their best interests at heart.However, if the victim comes to recognize the abuse, they will more than likely look for signs of abuse in other relationships. This is all done in an effort to protect themselves from further abuse. More so, victims may find it incredibly difficult to be vulnerable with other people, as they have the constant fear of being hurt or manipulated again.
• Communication problems: Communication is one of the key aspects of any relationship. With that being said, emotional abuse victims often become reserved, withdrawn, and reluctant to communicate openly. Over time, this might lead to misunderstandings and further emotional distance.
• Emotional detachment: As we have already mentioned, victims usually find it difficult to be vulnerable in their relationships. This all forms a part of their self-protection mechanism. As a result, however, they may struggle to connect emotionally with new partners.
• Self-esteem issues: Over time, the constant criticism and belittlement from an abuser leads to a lack of self-esteem and low self-worth. Not only does the abuse affect how the person views themselves, but also how they view themselves in other relationships.The victim begins to feel inferior in all of their relationships, causing them to withdraw. Some victims even become dependent on their abuser for validation and support, making it incredibly difficult for them to leave the abusive situation and seek out healthier relationships. ^[5]

How to Overcome the Effects of Abuse

Often, emotional abuse victims feel hopeless and trapped. Even if they are able to escape a bad situation, the emotional effects are likely to stay with them for a very long time, influencing other relationships as well as the way in which they view themselves. ^[6]

With that being said, there are a few practical coping strategies that can be implemented in order to promote the healing and recovery process. This includes:

• Seeking professional help: If a victim struggles with severe emotional and mental health issues following their experience with abuse, it is highly recommended that they visit a mental health professional. Even if they are still in that relationship or simply believe that they do not need professional help, there is a wide range of benefits that come with speaking to a therapist. These sessions will provide a safe space to process traumatic experiences. Through therapy, you may even develop connections through a support group. Connecting with individuals who have gone through a similar experience will help the victim feel less alone, as well as receive a sense of validation.
• Building a strong support system: One of the most effective ways in which a victim can escape an emotionally abusive relationship and work towards overcoming the effects of the abuse is by surrounding themselves with a strong support system of people who genuinely care about their well-being. This may include friends, family members, or even a therapy group. It is also worth noting that there are a variety of community support groups, such as abuse helplines, shelters, and advocacy groups, that offer support and guidance.
• Self-care and wellness: Prioritizing one’s health and mental well-being can massively improve overall self-worth and sense of importance, both of which are at risk of deteriorating due to emotional abuse. This includes engaging in physical activity, eating a balanced diet, and ensuring good sleeping patterns. Practices such as mindfulness, meditation, and yoga can also help reduce stress and promote emotional healing. In general, experts recommend that victims engage in activities and hobbies that bring them joy or satisfaction. This will help in building a sense of normality.
• Journaling: This is a common coping mechanism for victims of abuse. Since they often don’t feel comfortable opening up about their experiences to other people, writing down their feelings is the next best thing. More so, putting thoughts into words (even if it is just on paper) can be therapeutic and provide clarity.
• Understanding and forgiving oneself: This is arguably the most important step in overcoming the effects of emotional abuse. It is essential that victims realize that the abuse was not their fault. This will ease any remaining self-blame. On top of this, victims need to be patient with themselves and recognize that recovery takes time.
• Setting boundaries: Developing new relationships after experiencing emotional abuse can be incredibly difficult. Victims often feel as though they are not worthy of love or simply struggle to connect with new people as a result of their trust and commitment issues.It is crucial that they learn to set and enforce personal boundaries in order to protect their own well-being. Being assertive is instrumental in being able to communicate their needs and help protect them from any further harm. More so, it gives the other person a clearer idea of where they stand and what to expect from the relationship. ^[6]

Healing from Years of Emotional Abuse

All cases of emotional abuse are different. Sometimes, the perpetrator will begin to show signs of abusive behaviors after a few months, while others may not reveal such tendencies for years. However, in many cases, the abuser manipulates the victim from the start.

It is important to note that the recovery process is also different for everyone, and depending on the severity of the abuse, the side effects could stick with the victim for the rest of their lives. However, by receiving the necessary support, the overall influence that these effects have on one’s life will dwindle over time.