Email: ‘Christmas Carols’ For The Psychologically Challenged

This was received today via email from a friend; one of those letters that makes the rounds. I’m not at all sure of who wrote it or where it came from originally. As it is the time of year for many readers, and as it is kinda funny if you approach it in the right spirit (we are well aware these are serious disorders, but we can still appreciate a good joke, right?), here it is:

Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged

1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices?
2. Amnesia — I Don’t Remember If I’ll be Home for Christmas
3. Narcissistic Personality Disorder — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
4. Bipolar Disorder (Manic Episode) — Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And…….
5. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Queens Disoriented Are
6. Paranoid — Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us
7. Borderline Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I’m Gonna Cry, and I’ll not Tell You Why
8. Antisocial Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire
9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
10. Agoraphobia — I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn’t Leave My House
11. Alzheimer’s Disease/Senile Dementia — Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe
12. Oppositional Defiant Disorder — I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House
13. Social Anxiety Disorder — Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate
14. Attention Deficit Disorder — We Wish You……Hey Look!! It’s Snowing!!!